Looking back to the days when we were raising our kids, I now see, even more than I had realized back then, the tools and the wherewithal I lacked in order to be the mother I had always envisioned being.

I hadn’t had the foundational knowledge of positive personal experience, nor the greatest of emotional intelligence I needed to draw from when unexpected situations arose. Quite frankly, I was still struggling with certain areas of my life that needed to be healed. In fact, if I’m being totally honest, most days, I was running on empty and merely pushing through my days out of sheer love for the children I knew were counting on me.

Man, if it weren’t for the tiny bit of my baby Christian faith and His enduring Grace at that time, I can only imagine the utter mess our lives could’ve been.

Like when my husband got laid off just as we learned I was pregnant with our second child. And after 4 grueling months of subsequent job searching, resume writing, and phone calls, he got that great opportunity, but only 200 miles away from what little support system we had.

And yet, little sparks of inspirations began showing us a whole new community of Christian witnesses over those tumultuous years alongside the bing-bong of dial-up internet guides and the help of Mapquest, and little by little, we muddled through.

Throughout all that time, Jesus (and as I later came to realize, Mary) were there all the while, however, mostly *waiting* for me to see how much I needed something beyond my own prideful determination and reach out.

Yesterday’s Gospel about the loaves and the fish reminded me of how our lives are like going to a party where there’s a gift exchange, but instead of the careful monitoring, ensuring each of the gifts fall within a certain cost range, when it comes to our loving Lord, I could bring a half-baked cupcake and He would not only finish baking it for me, but then turn around and provide me with a whole bakery if He so chooses.

The grace, the love, the generosity He has in store for us only requires on thing but it is huge: faith. The belief that He will provide for us, no matter how badly we fail, no matter how little we have to give. He will match it….and then some. It’s all there for the asking.